Embark on a journey to conscious love
In today’s fast-paced world of limitless dating options, we’re often obsessed with finding that elusive “spark” – the electric moment that makes our heart race and palms sweat. While romanticized in movies, this instant chemistry rarely is the basis for lasting, conscious love. Relationship expert Logan Ury notes that initial butterflies can also be misleading, as excitement can mask fears or insecurities. When someone is unpredictable or playing games, it may create an adrenaline rush we mistake for genuine attraction. But what we’re really feeling is uncertainty – not the steady foundation on which conscious love is built.
What is Conscious Love?
Conscious love is the type of love that lasts and grows. It’s a connection that feels safe and steady – and that often only builds over time.
The Role of Chemistry
This doesn’t mean that chemistry is unimportant, it just might take longer to develop. According to Ury, real chemistry arises from emotional connection, shared values, and a true understanding of one another.
Studies confirm this: the Mere Exposure Effect shows that the more we get to know someone, the more attractive they become. Familiarity creates comfort and trust, and ultimately attraction. Ury advises focusing less on an immediate spark and more on whether the person makes you feel relaxed, curious, and valued. Are they kind and respectful? Do they listen and make you laugh? Do they make you feel safe? These qualities predict a relationship’s success far better than the intensity of an initial spark.
How to Approach Conscious Dating
Conscious dating is about regularly reflecting on your own needs and values as well as your desires in a relationship. Instead of asking yourself if someone makes your heart race after a single date, consider if they have qualities that would make them a supportive, loving partner over time. Are they emotionally available? Do you share similar goals? Are they reliable?
In this context, Ury’s “Post-Date Eight” questions might help you reflect after each date:
- What side of me did they bring out?
- How did my body feel during the date – stiff, relaxed, or something in between?
- Do I feel more energized or de-energized than I did before the date?
- Is there something about them I’m curious about?
- Did they make me laugh?
- Did I feel heard?
- Did I feel attractive in their presence?
- Did I feel captivated, bored, or something in between?
By asking yourself these questions, you’ll get an understanding of whether a relationship has the potential to develop into meaningful love.
Knowing When an Emotional Connection Isn’t Forming
Give the relationship the time it needs to grow and develop, but also recognize when an emotional connection simply isn’t forming. After several dates of feeling no deeper connection, it may be time to move on – but try to avoid making this decision too quickly.
Ultimately, lasting love isn’t about the adrenaline rush of early dates. It’s about the quiet moments of connection, the shared routines and the security of knowing you’ve found someone who will still be there when the excitement fades.
At Match Maison, we guide you toward conscious love. Our mission is to connect you with a partner who will not only complement you, but also help your relationship grow and endure. We specialize in working with exceptional individuals – those who are passionate about their pursuits, embrace a global perspective, and value both their time and self-worth. Are you one of them? Schedule a complimentary consultation call today to discover more about our personalized matchmaking approach.
